You can now get your very own crochet penis blanket if that’s your thing.
The handmade blankets are perfect for a cozy night on the couch and are specially designed so that you can jump into the shaft and completely envelop yourself. And who wouldn’t want that, right?
The blankets even come with removable balls on the bottom so you can look a neat sow if you want.
The penis blanket will bring you back Â£ 106 ($ 150) – a bargain, I’m sure you’ll agree – and is available on Etsy, but unfortunately the item does not ship to the UK.
A description for the article reads: “Would you like a different and fun blanket?
“This hooded penis blanket is wrapped around your feet and then expands backwards and lies on your body.
“This blanket comes with your balls in its case and you need to inflate the balls.”
It’s made from 100 percent acrylic yarn, tricot, and comes with these removable, inflatable beach balls.
Of course, you don’t have to stop there, because Etsy is a treasure trove of crocheted penis items, believe it or not.
The finished crocheted item consists of a number of handmade willies in different colors and sizes, all of which are put into a crocheted bag – the ideal gift for that special someone.
A guy ordered this as a prank to fool his buddy on his birthday.
The impressive bespoke element was manufactured by Latham’s Steel Doors, a steel manufacturer in Oldbury, West Midlands.
After a difficult year, the company decided to accept the unusual order. Photos show workers standing on a platform next to the huge object, which was completed with 3D spheres.
The surprise birthday present was engraved with a Happy Birthday message and came with some very specific requests.
The prankster, who wasn’t named, asked for it to be self-standing, and it also had to be thick enough to be hard to get rid of.
It was also stated that the penis had to be welded together so that it could not be taken apart.
The mysterious customer also asked that it be galvanized so it could be exposed to the elements outside.
That’s a serious dedication to a prank, but unfortunately it turned out the recipient wasn’t too enthusiastic and the item was discovered the next day on the Facebook marketplace for a price of Â£ 123 ($ 174).